Monday, July 04, 2005

The anti-WOBB part one

When you enter a corporate already widely infested with WOBB it seems impossible that there is any hope what so ever. That it's a case of 'join or be-gone'. I don't believe that WOBB can be removed when it gets past a critical level (I'll get back to this later in a later part), but it can be dealt with effectively if it is recognised in good time, and the problem is acknowldged by management. Here I can hear you think: "Hopeless then, as WOBB is usually started by management..." This is true, but not entirely hopeless, the expression "if you can't beat them, join them" comes in here. You see if WOBB is in it's early stages (usually in small companies) then working your way up to management (using WOBB techniques obviously) is the best way, you can then influences the company and lead them back on to the straight and narrow. If you don't succeed in doing this, then well, at least you're in a cushy management jobb, with healthcare and a nice pensionplan if you did it right...
So how do we get rid of WOBB? Simple, use it! Start a CIP with a set of clearly defined E&E benefits. Convincing the rest of your management team buddies that the way to fame and fortune is through simplicity, as few words on paper as possible and easy to follow procedures that even your 80yr old dememented grandmother can follow.
You will either be rewarded for your brilliance, with a fat salary rise, stock options or something the like and live long and prosperous. Or you'll be laughed at and thrown out, in which case you refer to paragraph 14a of your contract in which are stipulated the details of your parachute-deal in case this happened, and you still live long and prosperous (see how WOBB can work for you?).
The first of the outcomes is obviously to be prefered and the one you should aim for as it benefits many others... but the most important lesson to be learned before tackling any WOBB situation is similar to one you hear everytime you get on an airplane:
"When assisting other passengers with fitting of oxygen masks, make sure to apply own mask first", aka "take care of yourself before taking care of others", when you're down yourself, you can't help anyone else...

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